Guest Blog: Children and Grief

Grief is something that is completely different for every person who experiences it. I'm sure you have all heard of the five stages theory: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I've dealt with them all, although I'm still having a bit of trouble with that last one, acceptance. In 2006 my first pregnancy went horribly wrong and I ended up losing my daughter, Quinne. She passed away in my arms in the cold, stark hospital room that had been my home for 9 long weeks.

Trying to be present for your children while you grieve can be one of the biggest challenges you face. In April of 2007, ten months to the day after the death of my first daughter, I gave birth to Miranda, a beautful and healthy baby girl. I wanted to be happy for the addition of this new life and on the outside I was. I put on a great show for friends and visiting family. Inside my heart was breaking. I loved Miranda, of course I did, but I was also aching for Quinne too. In fact, my pregnancy with Miranda had been a complete accident and I hadn't intended on getting pregnant again so soon. I needed time to grieve properly. Unfortunately, I hadn't been given that time.

I Tried to Call You

As most of you know I lost my sister last Friday after she had been in hospice for longer than anyone would have liked to see.  We put her to rest on Wednesday of this week with a beautiful but small service with her ashes.

She wanted to be cremated, and told us she wants her ashes spread at Universal Studios... We'll see about that one though. 

It is surreal. It hasn't sank in yet. I don't believe she is gone. So much so that I picked up the phone yesterday after hanging up with my mother and tried to call her.

What Inspires You?

With my sister in hospice, and sitting on edge in everything I do daily... waiting for a phone call that she has passed, I have been struggling to find the good in life.

Of course I have three beautiful children, and an amazing husband. I have an awesome extended family, and many blessings, but I struggle as to why those who are truly irreplaceable die young.