Mind Your Own Kids?

Today is brought to you by my soap box. So let me take it out of storage because I haven't been up on it for a while.
Dust it off and step up.

I used to be a stay-at-home-mom. I didn't really do anything other than watch my kids, and keep house. I was frequently bored, and guilty of the charge I am about to accuse other stay-at-home-moms of. I am woman enough to own it. Why? Because since becoming a mother, and of course becoming a working mother, I can certainly say I have matured. Isn't that part of life? I mean, I still am only 26. I will continue to grow, mature, and change my mind in life. It is part of life!



But what is eating at me today? Strangers on the internet who can't mind their own business and try to teach you how to parent, or try and parent your kids through the computer screen from thousands of miles away. And it seems like every time I come across a new one, they are stay-at-home-mothers. What gives?

All parents do things differently. It is nothing new. My mother did things with all three of us that I would never imagine today doing with my kids. Same goes for my husband's mother, grandmother, hell everyone in our families. Even my sister before she passed away parented way differently than I do. And I admired her for that. Isn't difference beautiful?


I have grown some seriously thick skin since I started blogging on Babble.com, you have to because people can be serious assholes online. With the computer between you and them, they suddenly feel like it is socially acceptable to say, and do things they never would imagine in actual public, or real life as I call it. And being on such a heavily public parenting site like Babble, it is a must.  I can only help but wonder if they are raising the new generation of relentless bullies.

There are writers on the site who do things differently. I share my children's names, some don't. Like Lori from MommyFriend. She uses nick names for her children instead of sharing their actual names. I respect that.

There are bloggers out there who don't even use their real name, or identity when it comes to blogging. Example? Vodka Mom... good for her for having an awesome blog, and remaining nameless.

I know I am totally getting off into left field here... but I do have a point, I promise!
There are so many different moms out there that we can't expect everyone to parent exactly like we would.

Yesterday morning I published a post on Toddler Times at Babble.com and while it took off, I noticed a negative comment about a picture I edited to use in the slideshow of my oldest son in his underwear and his build-a-bear's fireman jacket. A comical picture of one day when he undressed himself, and tried to wear his bear's gear as we call it in our house.

A cute kid playing.

And in the photo in question, I used the text of the picture to block out what would be viewable as the section of his body covered by the underwear.

Nothing compared to the silly instagram photos I have seen with kids bare ass's coming out of the pool, or playing in the summertime. It is part of childhood... hell I still have pictures like that of myself as a kid. Underwear, bath tub, half dressed in my mothers clothes... whatever I got myself into. I was little! At least that is how I view it.

The commenter continued, and railed on about the picture, and of course when I agree to disagree with someone I leave it at that. I am not going to argue with someone who sees differently. It is just not worth my time. If I did this with everyone I disagreed with on Babble, I would be glued on Babble every minute of the day. Seriously.

Other moms chimed in saying:

Geesh, the picture is fine. It’s not like the kid is naked. That’s no more racy than an ad for a children’s swimsuit.

And

If you think the picture is inappropriate, don’t look. And get over it. Nobody else cares.

For real!

This is where my soap box comes in... Because you wouldn't share something of this nature, or even take the picture to begin with, don't rail on another mother who has a different comfort level with sharing things on the internet.

Good for you that you want to protect your child for whatever internet creeps you may think are out there. The way I look at it? Internet creeps are everywhere! They are going to ogle pictures of kids in their underwear or in a suit and tie.

If I worried about every little thing like that, I would not only be locked away in a nut house with paranoia, but I clearly wouldn't be in the blogging business.

But what does that have to do with stay-at-home-moms? I have noticed during my motherhood time that they have far more time on their hands to bitch and moan online, start mom wars, and flame strangers on the internet that those of us who work at home, or work outside of the home. I don't know if my maturity has kicked in and discouraged my hobby of arguing online, or if its the fact that I just don't have time or care enough. I would rather work and spend time with my kids than sit around and bitch at strangers.

So this is where I say... mind your own damn kids!